Networking in the Alps, Part 2
by Samantha Langhorne Clemens03/12/2001
For full enjoyment of this story, read Networking in the Alps, Part 1, which was published last month on oreilly.com.
A week after being rescued from our failed attempt to deploy Windows 2000 atop the Matterhorn, Bob and I were sitting one evening in the lounge of the Hotel Bernerhof in Interlaken, Switzerland. As we sipped beer and enjoyed a fondue, we gazed through the window at the majestic mountains of the Berner Oberland.
"Quite a sight," I remarked, gazing at the sunset colors on the face of the Eiger.
"So are you," he replied.
"Nothing compared to those," I said. Tears came to my eyes as I watched the fading light play softly over the mountain peaks.
I suddenly became aware of a waiter standing beside our table. He offered me a telephone, and I soon found myself in conversation once again with a representative from the SBB (Schweizerische Bundesbahnen or Swiss Federal Railway), the company that had previously contracted us to deploy Windows 2000 on top of the Matterhorn and connect it with their LAN in Zermatt. Despite the failure of that enterprise, they wanted to offer us another job.
"It's the SBB," I told Bob. "They want us to deploy another network."
Bob turned a little green and made a small, weak sound.
"They want to install a network inside the Niederhorn massif, inside the St. Beatus Caves.
"Bob took on a brighter shade of green and made funny gurgling sounds.
"They want us to connect their offices on Lake Thun with an SQL server, which we'll deploy 1.7 kilometers deep inside the mountain so they can keep track of visitors to their famous caves.
Bob's face shone bright green like a traffic light. He began to sway back and forth and moaned.
"They say they'll pay us well for the work, and supply us with all the cheese we can carry."
Bob's chair flew back, and he shot like a meteor towards the bathroom, leaving a trail of green haze in his path.
Poor Bob, I thought, dipping a piece of bread into my fondue. I guess his system has finally caught up with all the cheese we had on the Matterhorn. Too bad he doesn't have a woman's constitution like me.
The next morning we walked from our hotel near the West train station to the dock on Lake Thun where the boat was waiting to take us to the caves. The morning air and the thought of stimulating work exhilarated me. Legend has it that these limestone caves were inhabited in the sixth century by a hermit named Beatus. I wondered what kind of individual could live for years in a blank environment surrounded by nothing with sheer-faced walls and nothingness. Then I thought of my cubicle back in our offices in New York....
"Have we got everything we need?" asked Bob, who had recovered from his ordeal and looked 30 pounds thinner.
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Windows 2000 Administration in a Nutshell
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"I think so, let's see: server, flashlight, hiking boots, sweaters, rope, copy of Spelunking in a Nutshell, map, canteen, 15 copies of Windows 2000 Administration in a Nutshell.
"Are you still claiming it was you who wrote that book and not Mitch Tulloch?" he asked.
"Just because he's my boss, just because he pays me $63,000 a year, just because my contract with his company surrenders all intellectual rights to anything I say, do, or even think--doesn't mean I shouldn't get credit where it's truly due."
"Is that everything?"
"Oh yes," I replied, "We've also got a two-kilometer roll of duplex, single-mode, fiber-optic cabling. It should be enough for a run from the cave's entrance to its deepest interior. Last time on the Matterhorn we tried 10Base2 coax; this time I chose fiber instead because parts of the cave system are likely to be underwater."
"Sounds good. No cheese?" he smiled weakly.
"This time we're taking chocolate instead."
"Oh, goodie."
We hoisted our packs and stepped off the boat as it docked at the bottom of the Pilgrim's Path at the foot of the Niederhorn. I thought we needed the exercise so I insisted we walk up the 63 million steps from the dock to the entrance of the caves high above. It was a glorious day: the birds were singing, the view of the lake below was magnificent, the sun shone gaily, and the sound of cowbells reminded me of the incredible richness of this land of cheese and chocolate.
Springing effortlessly up the last few steps, we bypassed the nearby tourist shop and restaurant, smiled at the life-size statue of St. Beatus praying, and plunged into the entrance of the cave. Immediately the temperature dropped by 15 degrees, and we donned our sweaters in response. We roped ourselves together and began our descent.
Soon we entered a large chamber where colorful stalactites and stalagmites hung from the ceiling and rose from the floor. I searched my memory for some rhyme or mnemonic to help me remember which hung from ceilings and which grew on floors. Then I remembered and sung out softly:
Bright the light that smites the night when sight meets height in stalactite, What delight to fight for right with might like knight with stalagmite!
Deeper and deeper we plunged into the depths of the caves. The wonders that we saw were beyond description. Suddenly we came upon a fork in the path where we had to make a decision.
"Should we go through the left opening or the right one?" I asked.
"Let's flip for it?" replied Bob.
"Sure." I reached into my pocket and pulled out a coin. "We'll flip for the left entrance. You call: Bill or Tim?"
"Bill."
The coin spun through the air and landed on the ground.
"It's Tim. We'll take the right opening. It must lead to the source."
I stepped through the opening and suddenly found myself falling down a deep, dark shaft that seemed to have no bottom. Over and over I tumbled through the darkness. It seemed like an eternity had passed. I looked around and saw an array of strange and softly glowing shapes fly past me in the darkness: a gnu, a kernel, a man with a red hat, a big iron dragon, an army of men in blue suits, a cathedral and a bazaar warring against each other, a smiling young man from Finland surrounded by screaming girls, a crowd of young people freely sharing music with each other, a Dark Empire towering over a small rabbit wearing a waistcoat, a world in flames with stock markets crashing, stock options burning, consultants leaping off tall buildings, LAN administrators doing the samba, people shouting, cowbells ringing, ringing, RINGING....
I woke to find myself in a bed with a nurse bending over me and Bob holding my hand.
"What...what happened?" I asked.
"You fell and knocked yourself out," said Bob. "Remember the right opening, the one we thought would lead to the source of the caves? You stepped in and fell six feet. Fortunately, the rope spun you around so you landed on your back with your knapsack under you. If it wasn't for those 15 copies of Windows 2000 Administration in a Nutshell in your pack cushioning your fall, you might have been seriously hurt."
"So my book saved the day again, did it?" I smiled weakly and squeezed his hand. "I'm hungry--could I have a little piece of cheese?"
